This is not my ceiling
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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