I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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