I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
