Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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