ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
