Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
