Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
