Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
