I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
