she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
