Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize