Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
