i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
