I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
