i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
