i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
