Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
