How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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