Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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