Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
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