Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
