Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
