just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I supernannyed him into submission
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
