why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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