if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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