so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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