her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize