I just made out with a guy for $7.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
