I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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