You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Bring me that man meat
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
