my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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