just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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