are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
