the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
