check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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