If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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