Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize