literally had 100 drinks last night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
