Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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