Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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