i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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