the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
