Moan for me like Helen Keller
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
NoShamevember. You game?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
