Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
