I CAN MOONWALK!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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