so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
