This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
