It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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