he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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