Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
