If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
40s are totally the cure
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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