She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
