I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
