dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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