that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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