Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
where are my eyebrows?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
