She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i now understand why vodka
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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