i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
