eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
