He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
