At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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