the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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