The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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