I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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