Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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