He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
