He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize