"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
